We’ve all seen the BBC video where the interviewee is interrupted by his “hippity-hoppity” children during a live broadcast and hilarity ensues. Then a woman comes and drags the kids out. I loved every bit of it, right down to the crawl back in and shut the door move. This viral video has prompted a lot of conversation and, unexpectedly, a huge work in me personally. You see…I thought she was the nanny.

If I’m being honest, I perceived the kids to be white, and so anyone with a different color skin must have been the nanny. And then it turns out she’s not…and I’m suddenly a racist. This is coming from someone who is multiracial, in an interracial marriage with multiracial children who advocates for diversity and equality. This is coming from someone who had to endure the same treatment when I would check into a hotel with my white father, because I clearly looked like a mail-order bride to some. And yet, there it is, right there inside me.

You guys, I had to check my heart. Was there some place in my mind where I had constructed that thought and deemed it permissible? I think so. That kind of thinking affects more than just your mind, it gets in the heart. I’ve been navigating my way on how to advocate for racial reconciliation, and I think we all know the first step is dealing with our own hidden bias. I’ve had to repent and seek out healing, and maybe you do too.

So I’m writing this not to condemn anyone but instead to bring to light the areas that need to and hopefully encourage personal growth in you. Maybe you don’t think you’re a racist but find yourself with implicit racial bias. There’s grace and healing for that, but I think we must be vulnerable and address that if we are to build a culture where all are valued and a mom can drag her kids out of a room without people thinking she’s the hired help.